The tap you drink from in your house says a lot about you | Jack Vening


R.I recently drank from a forbidden tap and it didn’t hurt. I was more than surprised. Yet, as I lay awake at night, I realized that what I had done was so unnatural that the experience had certainly changed me in ways that would take years to fully understand. I know.

The tap you drink from says a lot about you. There is a hierarchy to the faucets in your home, and you probably adhere to it in some way, even if you don’t consciously observe it. You might argue that the water all comes from the same source, but its taste is definitely determined by the faucet atmosphere. We are hard-coded to interpret the taste of water as a sign of environmental conservation, and that is all. Would you choose a pristine alpine spring over a gray stream with skeletons on its banks?

And if you really believed it was all the same, you would be boiling pasta in the water from your bathroom tap. God blew up Sodom and Gomorrah at a cheaper price.

kitchen

Confession: Growing up, I usually got my water from the bathroom tap. The pipes in the kitchen were old and dirty. The water pressure of the mid-20th century has caused a giant killer to rattle cages in Hell. It tasted like the Titanic now, and gave me the same satisfaction as licking the dampness off the dungeon walls to survive.

This is not what it should be. Renovating old pipes has made the kitchen faucet my main source of water, just as nature intended.

tap water in the kitchen taste like being drunk. Your body will feel better. Not only is it the faucet that hydrates and nourishes the body, it’s where food is made and stored, but it’s also near the cup, so you’ll want a mug on your belt like a character from The Canterbury Tales. This is your first port of call unless you like to carry it around.

bathroom faucet

Bathroom faucets are an important part of your home. For cleansing. For healing, routine and ritual use. Therefore, it is primarily drinking under certain conditions and not for recreation. You can take it in the middle of the night or bring it to your bedside table (suggesting it has a hypnotic effect). may accumulate in the

If this is your main drinking tap, you’d better have a good excuse, like if you only eat orange vitamin C tablets because you don’t have real snacks at home.

garden tap

This is a specialty tap and should only be taken by dads or if they are just trying to wash away the taste of bugs they accidentally ran around and got in their mouths. The water it produces is wild and should not be taken lightly.

Surely there is something compelling about it? It is incompatible with the civilization we believe to be safe. Drinking from it is a glimpse into a distant primitive age, when we all drank blood and didn’t have to remember so many passwords. It’s a reminder of who we used to be and who we’ll one day be again.

laundry tap

But there’s a darker road – the road of the laundry drinker, which for better or worse is the road I’m traveling on right now. Thirsty, disorientated by the noise of second-hand dryers, idiots distracted enough to do irreversible things We are

This is a faucet that no one should drink from. Laundry is a place of chemicals and chemical reactions. Toxic slime, mysterious dust, and hopelessly suffocating lint clouds. (Will the government come and take them away?) Faucets reflect these dangerous qualities. It’s easier to drink good water in the Evil Alchemist’s Lab, and perhaps less likely to accidentally snort a cleanser line while doing so.

Sinks with separate hot/cold taps instead of single taps

God forgives us a lot, but there are certainly a few things I’ve circled many times in his big red book.



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