I’ve stopped drinking nine bottles a week. But I’m still frightened – The Irish Times


This is the 4th installment in the alcoholism series.Read from the first episode HereSecond Hereand the third Here

My mantra worked. And I was asked to repeat it many times during the night.

It’s the morning after the party. I wore a pretty dress and stuck to the water.

It’s been a long night.

Our starters were placed in front of us when we sat down. Just as I was about to bring the spoon to my mouth, I heard someone ask, “What is this?” It looks delicious. “I closed my mouth and put the spoon down. “A melon cocktail with a touch of port.”

dash? unlikely. The melon was swimming in a pool of crimson liquid that filled a small wine glass.

If I had tasted that dish, I wouldn’t be writing these words now. Far worse than these physical side effects is the mental anguish of not being cured by the paracetamol dose. I feel lucky this morning.

In a world of alcohol consumption, staying sober is not an easy option. And being the only sober in a group of people always feels weird

After this near miss, I decided to reveal to the person sitting next to me that I was the author of the article about not being an alcoholic. In fact, I’m not sure she believed me when I told her I spent five weeks in rehab. Again, most people do not understand addiction and its effects on a person. She said, “Oh, I should stop drinking too.”

why? Is it because you like alcohol and sometimes drink too much?

She then asked me to pour a glass of wine.

“You shouldn’t ask me that,” I said.

Was this some kind of test?

I gave her a bottle to pour my wine into and she lifted the glass as expected. I didn’t want to touch the bottle, so I didn’t mind pouring her wine, but I obediently poured her a glass of red wine. I had no choice. In a world of alcohol consumption, staying sober is not an easy option.And being the only sober in a group of people is always a strange feeling. Drinking alcohol loosens the tongue and raises the voice. Sometimes multiple people talk together without realizing that others are talking. After over 3 hours, I snuck out, just to let the hostess know so as not to ruin the party. It’s hard to stay at a party for more than three hours without drinking.

The professor said it would be better to wait two years before going on vacation.

what! No way. Traveling is his one of my great passions. I am very lucky to get away normally several times a year. However, due to Covid, I have not been away since his December 2019, except for a short trip to Switzerland earlier this year. Did he really think I could wait another two years?He must be joking. I understand where he came from. Holidays are ‘anything goes’ and you feel more free and relaxed. “Oh, sure, how come? What harm does one drink do?”

A lot, obviously. It’s more than just a drink for me.

Ignoring his advice, I plan to go to a European city. It’s exciting and exciting, like an invitation to dinner. We know the temptation is there from the moment we arrive. The 6 o’clock window goes out the window. Breakfast is the only meal without temptation, but lunch and dinner present challenges. We weighed the pros and cons. Sure, there will be far more temptations to drink than if I were at home.

It is my decision to go, fully aware of the difficulties I may face. There are many moments when drinking alcohol is haunting me. For example, when choosing between buying the Chanel Classic 2.55 or the Chanel Classic Flap. just kidding. In fact, we believe (surprisingly from our research) that a potential buyer is offered a glass of champagne when purchasing a Chanel bag. But seriously, there are times when drinking isn’t your top priority. I look forward to it, but underneath the excitement is fear – I don’t want to write that fear. And so it will be. I asked a friend, “What do you do when you drink?” I like her answer. It was very non-judgmental and positive. But I don’t want to test it.

Yes, I may stop again. When is the problem? 1 month later, 1 year later, 10 years later?

Writing these articles is a way of writing down my feelings about sobriety and trying to achieve sobriety. The fact that the Irish Times has published my article hasn’t changed anything. Why would I lie on a blank piece of paper? I hate to risk destroying other drinkers’ hopes to quit smoking by writing this next sentence.

It’s still not easy.

But on the plus side, I definitely feel better. I sleep well I looked better (I was told so) and lost weight (wine has a lot of sugar and as with other alcoholic beverages, wineries are legally required to list the sugar content). are not mandated and are not normally listed). I am saving a lot of money. An average bottle of wine costs about €10 (except for Saint-Emilion when I try to pretend to be a social drinker) and I drink at least one bottle of wine a night, and I’ll be honest here. For that matter, I was often conservative with my second bottle, probably spending €85 or €90 a week.

Last week I saw a dress that I really liked. It was terribly expensive, but with the numbers above, you’re already saving on the price of the dress.

I see where this is going.

Remember Statler and Waldorf (the two mean men from the Muppet Show)? Check them out on YouTube. I’m sure I already paid for the dress. I just go pick it up. Sometimes having a little indulgence is another motivation for staying sober. By the way, the dress is gorgeous, and in a peculiar way, it reminds me of my sobriety when I didn’t have my first drink. Honestly, if I had spent €90 a week on wine, I wouldn’t have bought it.

The question is, how do I keep my husband from reading the last paragraph? When he asked me, “Is that your new dress?” I laughed; “What’s this old one? No, no, I’ve had it for years.” And I’m not even blushing.

I am tired of going to bed early. I know that sounds contradictory.I get up early because I have a habit of going to bed early. There is a dichotomy between the sound of an alarm clock and the dawn of a new day. You are greeted with moans and swearing (well, maybe just for me). The other will be welcomed as the first beacons of light appear in the skies with the promise of new beginnings. An uplifting picture that fills your heart with hope and good intentions. Even if the rest of the day crumbles away like the embers of a fire, I hold on to that image and know that this too will pass.

Tomorrow is a new dawn, a new day, and a new promise. As I write this, I am looking at a beautiful pink and blue sky. It’s very charming and I’m going to go out into the garden to see the new day. Surprisingly, we saw new growth at the end of the season. Azaleas bloom in April and May in the Northern Hemisphere and October and November in the Southern Hemisphere. So is this due to climate change? Remember to feed later to encourage this new growth.

Go back to drinking or in my case quit drinking but not yet.

I sipped water, staring enviously at the glass of red wine that was raised to my welcome mouth.

I’ve been drinking for 3 months and still dread taking my first drink. I could almost smell the liquid in the glass before taking a careful sip. The limited events I attended after rehab all involved alcohol. I got a lottery ticket at the entrance. “What is this?” I asked, puzzled. “I’ll have a drink later.” Well, I said to myself as I slipped the ticket into my bag. It seems to be fine wherever you go. Alcohol is recommended.

I ordered tonic water, ice and lemon at the bar and handed over my ticket. I watched her pour tonic water into a glass. A woman who was standing next to me ordered a soda water and when she tried to hand over her ticket, the bartender said, “No, you don’t need that. It’s just for alcoholic drinks.” Someone behind me was furiously trying to get the bartender’s attention and gently elbowed out of my way. Also, looking mean to me, I was a little apprehensive that she thought it was the one I asked for and slipped a shot of gin. I sniffed the tonic water before taking a sip, but I don’t want this challenge.

Just avoiding alcohol is enough.

Nearly 100 people attended the meeting, and judging by the wine glasses and Guinness waving in people’s hands, the majority were drinking alcohol. don’t know. I’d like a glass of wine, please.

As I sipped my water, I gazed enviously at the glass of red wine raised to the welcoming mouth.

Yesterday I saw something I had never seen at the supermarket. A woman was drinking a glass of red wine. A staff member was holding a bottle and discussing its benefits. A glass of red wine caught my eye like a temptation, and honestly, it was the first time she really wanted to try it again. I saw myself drinking that glass of red wine. I quickly moved on, but the image was in my head, and it was terrifying. ” he was teasing.

After I stopped drinking, the urge to drink became the strongest.

I tried to think of all the hardships, but when I gave in to temptation, it was over in no time. I thought about what would happen if I woke up drunk tomorrow. This morning, all temptations were gone, but it was a terrifying reminder of how close I had come to my first glass.

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